I'm returning to my home in Phoenix from two weeks on the road and I'm as inspired as ever. This would probably be an easy thing to guess, as this is the first time I've updated my blog or website in almost a year.
But what can I say? Life took several turns, as it tends to do, and though I've landed myself in an exciting/stable content writing position in the cannabis industry, I'm feeling the pull towards freelancing once again. It fell by the wayside in the midst of much transition. However, my commitment to creating throughout these changes has helped to keep me grounded and focused on the freedom I was aspiring to when I started.
I've learned a lot in the past year. My life was re-structured for the highest possible outcome, but transformation never comes easily.
I can say that I'm currently incredibly grateful for all that I have: a vibrant writing community, a deep clairvoyant meditation practice, a loving partner and musical collaborator, a job in which I get to do what I love most (write), and endless inspiration.
But being on the road opened up my eyes.
Although I have all of these things, and I deeply value them, I'm still envisioning a different future. I'm seeing all the ways that the daily grind just doesn't work for me (or for anyone who's in touch with their nervous system.)
I'm recognizing that living on the road can be a response to many concerns around capitalism. There are solutions, but they are not on the easy route. I learned this lesson before I left my corporate job and moved my life to Thailand, but now I'm grounding it on a deeper level.
The stark transition of coming back into the office after living in a van for two weeks has been jarring to say the least. While traveling, I was inspired by nearly every moment. My time was so dense with inspiration, and all I wanted to do when I returned was slowly integrate and create from that space.
There is a certain flow that creatives know, and it doesn't involve sitting in front of a screen and being monitored for productivity eight hours a day. In fact, this morning, when commuting to work, I felt this sense of compression. Rushing. By the time I got to my desk I was wound up. Creating for me comes from a space of freedom. From having the spaciousness to really get in touch with what I want to express and how I want to express it.
Writing poetry and singing has been a recent portal for this type of expression, but as I think about how I can sustain myself long term, I always come back to freelancing. Now, a year after starting this endeavor, I'm fueled by my passion for a multiple things:
Living in an unconventional way that challenges the systems which govern our modern society.
Helping others who have a vision to change the world to create content that is impactful and true to their mission.
Exploring and gaining inspiration to maintain a state of flow.
This is my intention setting ritual. I'm putting this out into the world and creating it, regardless of what it takes.